Insight

In an email conversation with my friend Michael, he asks me this question: "When you are resting there in your truck, do you feel quite content, or are you thinking much of past or future or dreams you might have, or just relaxing and spacing out all over the place, or just plain all over the map? If you are totally content in the moment, I'll ask for a lesson in that."

  I sent him an answer to his question and he felt that I should post it, so here it is... a little personal insight:

When I am alone in my truck, camping, hiking, I am quite content. It's when I can really be in the moment. Right now, being in my room here at Vermejo, or when I'm home alone, I think too much. About things I need to do, lists I need to make, other people, etc. It's more difficult to just be. I end up eating my lunch in front of my computer, or talking on the phone while cleaning the house. When I'm out in the wilderness though, I'm focused on my surroundings, and just being in nature. I suppose it's my version of a spiritual experience. Not that I don't get carried away with thoughts because I still do sometimes, but it's different "out there." Monday evening being in my truck in the rain was beautiful. I just sat and watched the rain for awhile. Peaceful.

I'm finding it to be very easy to meditate here. Probably because I don't have other things... errands, chores, etc. to be doing, so it's easy to get settled in and focused.

When I am in the mountains I am engrossed with my hike and with my surroundings. I don't have to think about being present; I'm just there. The same thing happens when I connect with people. I become engrossed with the conversation, something "clicks" and I'm just there. I don't know how to explain it or how to do it. I wish I could do it in other everyday happenings and surroundings. Unfortunately I get bogged down in those everyday things. For some reason when I'm hiking and camping I just feel like I'm in my element and all is good in the world.

All is good in the world.... that makes me think about the "Life is Good" T-shirts and some words of wisdom from a friend. Do you know the ones I'm talking about? My friend Ken had one on one day when I was visiting, and I commented on liking it and what a good idea that guy had. Ken agreed with me, but stated that it should really say: "Life Is." That's all. Because life isn't always good for anybody. There's ups and downs for all of us. We'd all like to do things better or different at times, we experience painful situations, ill health, etc., so life isn't always good. It's not supposed to be. We live, we learn, we grow, we experience life in all it's diversity, and it just IS.

I like to think if I could always be in the mountains maybe I would find nirvana. I'm not sure though. That is heaven to me for sure, but I get bored so easily. Always looking for something....

Life Is~ Embrace it for all it's worth~

More VPR Adventure

Today is my only day off this week. I'm feeling a bit discouraged about this fact. Wanting to make the most of it, last night after work (10:00 pm) I set off again for the high country. I drove about an hour to a place that I knew, and crawled into the back of my truck and went to sleep. I awoke at 6:30 am, and after making coffee and oatmeal, I set off for the high country. Andy, one of the fishing guides, told me a good place to go and hike. He didn't tell me though that there is a fork in the road that's not on the map. I took the right fork, which turned out to be the wrong fork, for where he was sending me. It was a beautiful drive though. It took me over the Colorado state line and way up onto a bald area. There was fence up there that I guess marked the property boundary. Beautiful views all the way around. I could have hiked from here to State Line Peak (another 12,000 foot mountain), but decided to back track and find the cabin that Andy had told me about. I saw a pond on the way down that I didn't notice on the way up. I continued on back to the fork in the road and took the "other fork". I found the cabin- "High Country Cabin" it's called. I really wanted to hike so after driving a bit more I got turned around and pulled off the road and parked. I hiked this way and that way trying different roads and trails, but not having any real direction. I ended up on a road that eventually took me to the pond I had passed on my way down the "other fork." I had a beautiful morning hiking for about three hours, then had another driving adventure. Rather than taking the "long" way around, I decided to try a spur off to the left that would take me down to the "main" road. Andy had warned about it not being a good road, but I found it to be just fine. Especially after the rough roads I traversed last week. I made my way down to Merrick Lake where I basked in the sun until it went behind a cloud. Then decided to continue my journey back to the lodge. It was so early I decided to venture off and find the Charcoal Ovens I had been told about. It was quite a drive over four wheel drive roads, but the directions I had been given were good, and I found my way there. I at first passed them by, then suddenly saw them, so I backed up. A truck was coming down the road, so I pulled over and waved at them. I was hoping to leave the area via  different/ shorter route. They said to just follow them and they'd get me through the gate, but I wanted to take some pictures first. I'm not sure what they were doing, but I believe it had to do with the gas wells. There are hundreds of them here! A whole other operation here on Vermejo Park Ranch. I drove down the the ovens and explored and took some pictures and then was on my way again. Rather than back tracking an hour and a half through four wheel drive roads I took the "emergency exit" road that was wide and well graded to a gate. There I picked up the radio handset and requested the gate be opened. I was asked for a three digit pass code. I said I didn't have one, but that I was an employee and just needed to get through the gate. He said he wasn't supposed to, but would let me through this one time. Thankfully! This brought me out on the "major highway"- State Route 555 where I had less than half an hour drive back to the lodge. I had to go back through the main electronic gate again. I love these driving adventures!

So, one of the girls I work with is off all week while she travels to Illinois to visit family. That means more work hours for the rest of us. I'm not happy about this; it cuts into my adventure time! Alas, such is life. More next week.... Oh, and there's pictures posted on this adventure too. m~

Adventures

I’ve been working a lot lately. Like 50 plus hours a week. That’s a whole lot for me, considering when I’m home I work about 25- 30 hours a week. It’s ok though because I still have plenty of time to hike, and there’s really nothing else to do. I have no chores, no errands, and no responsibilities other than to show up for work. And, the work is good. It’s pretty easy really except when we’re busy and everyone comes to dinner at the same time. Mostly I am waiting tables, but I’ve also bar tended a bit. The bar tending is much fun because that’s when I can really talk to people and hear their stories, and share mine.

While I say that I have plenty of time to hike, my hikes are pretty uneventful and nothing exciting to write about for the most part. I wish I could write descriptions like Edward Abbey. My words can’t even begin to describe this magnificent place. Monday I finished work around 3:00 and then was off Tuesday and Wednesday (today), so I packed up my 4Runner and set off for an adventure.

I headed up to what is called “the high country”, up above Costilla Lodge (the more exclusive lodge 30 miles west of where I work and live). I stopped at Costilla and got a radio (upon the insistence of several caring people) then drove up to Seven Lakes. I drove around a bit, then went back down to the first lake to “camp out.” I actually “camped” in my truck because it was pretty cold and also ended up raining a good bit. I fixed my supper on the open tailgate and enjoyed a couple glasses (out of my coffee mug) of wine. The rain started about the time I finished eating so I crawled into the back of my truck and read for a bit. It was quite cozy reclining there with the back open, enjoying my book and enjoying the rain. Eventually the rain was too much, so I closed up the back and snuggled into my sleeping bag with my book. I was off to sleep pretty quickly. I slept soundly until about 6:00 and woke to a foggy morning.

I made coffee, and then oatmeal, and enjoyed a leisurely start to my day. The drive to the trailhead to Casias Lakes is about five miles from where I camped. I love driving on these four-wheel drive roads. I drove until the road ended and parked there at the trailhead. It was about a mile hike to the first lake. This is where it’s hard to write descriptions because it’s so much more than a physical description of the lake and the huge mountains surrounding it. It’s the overwhelming feeling of fullness that I get when I see something so breathtakingly beautiful. It’s truly a spiritual experience. I will post some pictures to go along with this, but even the photographs can’t do it justice. I can’t capture the depth, the vastness with a camera.

From first lake I hiked on to three more lakes where again my breath was taken away at the splendor of the great mountains. I set out to hike up to the ridge, but took the wrong way up and had to go back down. It didn’t look that hard from down below, but as I scrambled up through nothing but scree, and watched rocks go flying down the mountains, I decided that this was not a good idea. I hitched my pack up as high as I could and scooted back down on my bottom. I did find a better way up that was actually a little trail. There aren’t many trails around here. I was able to follow this trail easily to the ridge top. I say easily, but actually hiking around here is not easy. Everything is harder in high altitudes. I followed the ridge over to the top of Costilla Peak (over 12,000 feet). I added a rock to the cairn built to mark the top of the mountain, and took a picture to show that I made it all the way. I could see a lake from the top of the mountain and looked through my binoculars to confirm that it was the first lake I had hiked to. There was something like a paddleboat there and that was the only lake with one of those. I continued down the other side of the mountain, again scooting part of the way down on my butt because it was so steep and nothing but loose gravel. Making it down the mountain, I followed a ravine back to the first lake where I sat and ate my lunch and cooled my feet in the lake.

After lunch I set off back down the trail to my truck where I continued my adventure behind the wheel. There are road maps of Vermejo Park Ranch, but there are a lot more roads that aren’t on the maps than roads that were found worthy enough to make it to print. I drove along a road that looked like it would take me to a place where I was on my last venture to the high country. Remember Glacier Lakes and the time my truck wouldn’t start? The map looked like it hooked up with the road just below that area. I drove and drove and drove. The road started getting bad. I shifted into four-wheel drive and continued on. I started driving over little trees in the middle of the road. It wasn’t getting any better and I started to feel like I was in over my head and driving in an area that was beyond my driving ability. Ok, just turn around right? Wrong. The road is tight and narrow, with nowhere possible to turn around, I am seeing huge mountain peaks and thinking: “oh shit.”  Finally I come to a tree across the road and low and behold there is room to get turned around. I back track to a place that turns off the “main road” and crosses a creek; I should have turned here in the first place, but there was no turn indicated on the map. I followed the road through the woods for a bit then into a field. Ok, this is where I wanted to be. Except that I am sideways going along through the field thinking about Tina (who gave me the 4Runner last fall) warning me about the fact that these vehicles have a high turnover rate. Yikes! I finally get back to the road that I wanted to be on. I drove back to Costilla where I returned the radio (I never even turned it on). I set off back towards the main lodge with a route in mind that would take me by something labeled on the map as “The Wall.” This wall I never found, and somehow ended up back on the main road. That’s ok, I’ve had enough driving adventure for the day. I continue eastward with the intention of driving to a place called: Castle Rock Camp, thinking that I could camp there for the night. I got to Castle Rock Camp easily, but it wasn’t a camp at all. Oh, it was an old cattle camp, but now it’s where some employees keep their horses. There are several buildings there, but no real place for camping. I drove beyond the buildings and parked in a wooded area with the intention of sleeping there for the night anyway. But, after fixing dinner and reading for a bit I decided to head back to the lodge for the night. I packed up and set off down the road. It was a little different route than the one I took in, but still a straight shot back to the main road. Or so I thought. I drove for several miles, seeing several elk herds, and realizing that I had gone way too far. Still I thought that this road would have to hook back up with the main road. The sun behind me, I felt like I was heading in the right direction anyway. I must have driven twenty miles when I came to a locked gate. It was nearly dark by now and I couldn’t figure out where I had gone wrong so I didn’t feel like I could easily retrace my way back the way I had come. I called the front desk and told Makayla that I was at VPR 134 (sign on the gate) and she put me on hold to make a call to get a combination for the lock. In the meantime a truck was going by on the road ahead so I flashed my lights and attracted their attention. It was Elise (reservations manager) and her boyfriend Dustin. Elise had a key and opened the gate for me. I had completely driven outside the ranch and had to reenter through the main gate behind Elise and Dustin. Wow, what a day! I was so glad to be back “home.”

On another adventure…..

Last week I had two days off and drove to Santa Fe. I decided I needed to get off the ranch for a bit and pick up some things in town. Santa Fe itself was pretty uneventful for me. I’m not much of a city person and beautiful as it is, it is very touristy and I’m just not into shopping and sight seeing. The highlight of the trip though was reconnecting with some folks I had met there when I was through four years ago. I had set up camp at a forest service campsite outside of town then went in to see the sights and grab some dinner. I had ordered my dinner and was sipping on a beer when the band began to play. I got up to dance all by myself, then sat back down when my food was served. Sam came over and introduced himself to me and invited me to sit with him and his wife Jean. We had a fun night talking and dancing there at La Fonda’s. I had a cup of coffee with Jean the next day at their home and was then on my way. So, when I decided to make the trip to Santa Fe, I sent them an email and arranged to visit with them at their home. I brought a bottle of wine and Jean fixed the most wonderful dinner of salmon and risotto with asparagus and procuitto. It was so cool to make the reconnection. What a wonderful couple! They have been married almost as long as I have been alive, but it just felt like being with long time friends. I spent the night in their guest room and set off the next morning. Sam fixed me oatmeal for breakfast and Jean sent me on my way with the leftover risotto.

From Santa Fe I drove to Taos, where I had planned to couch surf, but it too was too touristy (of course I am a tourist too!) for me so I made a quick visit to the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge and then headed east. I camped at a place called: Eagle Nest. It was a beautiful drive through Red River to a forest service campground that was crowded but quiet. I heated the leftover risotto in my Jet Boil (big mistake as the Jet Boil is only designed to heat water) and enjoyed another delicious dinner (yes, in spite of the Jet Boil). I pitched my tent beside a little creek and slept peacefully through the night. Then headed back to Vermejo the next morning.

That’s all for now. No more days off until next week~

Strange Living

It's a strange way to live really, in a room above my work place. Yet, I'm so comfortable here. All of my "things"... a house full of furniture, kitchen ware, household items, my nice cozy bed, are all back in Virginia. My room here is nice, but it's like living out of a hotel room. I sleep in a twin size bed with a not so great mattress, there's a second bed with an even less great mattress, a dresser, night stand, a chair, and a dorm size refrigerator (for my kefir : ), yet it feels just right to be here. I sleep well for the most part, but on the days that I have to be at work at 5:00 or 6:00 am, I struggle to sleep, I think for fear of getting up on time. It's funny that I've become accustomed to working at night and sleeping in after all those years of early rising living on a farm.

I slept in until 8:30 this morning! This because two nights ago Frank slept with me. I was sitting on the floor in the hall outside my bedroom in order to get a better Internet connection when Frank snuck in through the open door. She promptly made herself comfortable on the foot of my bed. I took pity on her, (spoiled, pampered cat) and told her she could sleep on the chair as I gently placed her there. That was fine for about 20 minutes, then she got back on the foot of my bed and remained there until I had to get up at 5:30. Every time I turned in my sleep I was aware of this unmovable thing at my feet! So, it wasn't a restful night. Last time that's gonna happen!

After working from 6:00 am until a little after 9:00, I went for a short hike. There's a gazebo above the lodge that I've hiked to a couple times (photos posted- it's made out of wood from the ranch), I headed up that way, but turned instead and headed up a rocky area. I like to find a quiet place to lay in the sun and read or write in my journal. A couple times now I have gone for hikes and had to cut them short because of a storm rolling in, only to get back to the lodge and the storm never materialize. This time I decided to ignore the rumbling thunder. After my lunch I went exploring up above the gazebo and was on a rock cliff when the thunder and lightning happened simultaneously. Yikes! I hie tailed it down the mountain and across a field back to the lodge all the while lightning flashing and thunder booming around me. No rain though, and by the time I reached the lodge the storm was passed. I went in to work again at 4:00 to work the bar until a little after 10:00. There's a guest here right now, an 81 year old woman who has become my new hero. Lou. She's beautiful and sweet and full of spunk. I want to be just like her when I grow up! She and her husband used to travel and have adventures together, but he's now in a nursing home. She however is still driving, and still traveling alone. She's not fishing, but she has her guide, a handsome young man that drives her around the property sightseeing.

On an aborted hike last week I saw a rattle snake and an elk calf. Pictures posted on picasa. The wildlife is abundant here. I see mule deer regularly, and the bucks have huge antlers that are velvet covered right now. There have been raccoons and skunks in the front yard of the lodge, and always hummingbirds. It's an amazing place, and I am thoroughly enjoying my time here. I do miss my kids though, and Thomas, and you, my friends~ Blessings to all....